I’ve left this site for two months! Why two months? Because I was in paediatrics for two months!! Bunyi macam busy tak? Memang busy pun hehe.

October has been the month of firsts for me. First posting of paediatrics, first blackberry-mishap, first end of posting exam and the best first Johor wedding. Lets go chronologically; paediatrics.

To be honest, I was dreading this posting. Number one reason being I’m not a huge fan of kids. Number two: scary paediatric stories from seniors. But voila! I got through two months of play. I know this sounds a tad bit cliché, but hey I actually look at kids nowadays. I’ve always been the kind who doesn’t really care of the existence of these little chunks but I’ve been tamed to such a level where I look at a baby and think of their age range and make conversations even. Cey, bajet power. At least I got look a bit la to these group of people :)

Proud moment over.

Now first end of posting exam or EOP in short. Ahhhhhh I did terribly. Was truly disappointed with my performance after two months in paediatrics. I was given a cyanotic baby and I couldn’t pick up her cyanosed lips!! Albeit mild.. still. A sign is a sign and I think that’s really important la. It was my FIRST CVS case I’ve ever examined (in paeds!). Two months of paediatrics and I’ve only seen 3 cvs cases, 2 of which I was not allowed to examine and 1 the night before EOP whose heart was enlarged and apex beat was displaced. And the 4^th one DURING EOP. Cuak tak cuak. Started off the exam by interpreting the cardiac monitor. Goreng gila. The worst part was I couldn’t catch the murmur :( Turned out the baby was cyanosed and had a pansystolic murmur. I was very honest during exams okay, tak dengar murmur so I cakap tak dengar murmur. Transmitted sounds everywhere. I was also given the opportunity to interpret an X-ray. Yes, a boot-shaped heart (I was actually thinking of it but had no guts to pour it out lol). My X-ray interpretation was.. bad. I need more practice.

But it was a good first experience. That’s medicine la, you keep learning and you learn best during exams lol. Time to move forward ey ;)

Medicine aside. Congratulations to my elder brother for the successful solemnization, satu lafaz Alhamdulillah :) I now have a sister after 20 years!! It was our first Johor wedding, quite an experience. Loved the tol part, and ambo-ambo ceremony (bride and groom had to throw sweets to the floor for people to catch). I got one sweet yayyyy. The kompang performance was too cute. Ahhh. Culture shock sikit hehe. Semoga bahagia ke anak cucu! <3

So clinical started like two weeks ago. And at week two I’m still quite blur. I go to wards every single day, my legs are kinda wobbly from standing too long during ward rounds, like jelly hehehhh.

That one I can tahan la, but my antibody getting lousy everyday I’m prone to infections of late. Patients cough, I cough back. Kinda embarrassing to be clerking and barking at the same time. Had my first presentation in front of my clinician two days ago and I was very… everywhere! How to say ah, I barely passed. Like cukup cukup makan. Flushing red during physical examination and I was sweating like nobody’s business. Need to learn how to hide the panic.

Got CNS case la, otak jam kejap.

But so relieved after that lah! Hope I’ll be more systematic after this. Paediatrics is tough, I gotta admit. One of the busiest departments I swear! It takes a lot of patience… Dah la tak pandai melayan budak budak haha. Physical examination is opportunistic- which means you gotta examine when they’re not fretful. But every posting comes with different challenges kan, gotta live with that ;)

So here’s my schedule everyday: 8-5pm wards. 5-7: dinner. 8-10pm: wards. Social life= nil. Now curi curi time to blog, dah complete case summary finally!

Sigh, I should probably study some dysmorphic features now..

I’m a person full of.. life. I celebrate little things even if it’s just the passing of my driving test. Well okay, I didn’t (get to) celebrate the passing of it because everybody else sorta had theirs earlier so celebrating it a little later than the rest would have been awkward. Push the exaggeration aside- oh you get the point?

But the process of celebrating requires tolerance, decisions and participants. The latter being the toughest of the entire process- ensuring an audience, which doesn’t always tally with your expected number. It’s a challenge when you’re overly excited about a certain event and your backbones aren’t, it kills the mojo yaknowhatimsayin’?

Guess I’m just really sulky tonight. Writing on a failed attempt of planning a simple ramadhan feast. You get a moody, sulky me. There were many times when I vowed to not plan events no more but I got restless and I kept planning- ideas tend to pop at the randomest times. And I’m back to the feeling where I’m just really sick and tired of planning and having to decide  all the frikkin time. Vicious cycle it is.

But then again, humans can only plan and Allah decides the rest right? Maybe I shouldn’t be so ambitious at partying out so much and  channel ‘ambitious me’ to my medical books instead. Haha, I wish..

Because I don’t know what to read for MCQ tomorrow, I’ve decided to spend a little bit of my time with you, oh blog.

This week has been pretty busy. Been busy recalling physical examinations that I’ve learned for the past six weeks and despite so much exposure, I’m still very slow-ow-ow-ow. Aside from my negativity, I’ve also been busy berfoya-foyaing with my colleagues :) It’s our last week in UM so bigbigbig gatherings are a must. (There’ll be more, I hope!) Buka puasa with medical ASTARians just last night. :)

Can’t believe we’re heading to Klang soon-ish. It’s so scary! Can’t believe two years have passed. Before you know it, we’ll be sitting for our final 3A exam. Cheers to this bond, the (short) years left in medschool and insyaallah to the many more passes in exams.

Klang, be nice. To us, please! :)

Last week in UM.

I’m scared.

Cause I don’t know what I learned the past six weeks.

Shoot me.