When all is crumbling, steady your hands.

Why do I feel like everyone has moved on so much in life while I’m still stuck in this.. nutshell? :(

Geli dooooh.

It's about time.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

We live within so many walls, it's hard to breathe.

Once again, I made another try thinking (pessimistic as ever) that I’d stop right there the way it did the previous year.

Turns out, I was called for second-level assessment. It didn’t click at first but dad gave me a thumbs up (the only reason why I applied was because my dad told me to, I wasn’t planning on it AT ALL) So I missed class today to try my luck second time around.

Clad in a pink baju kurung, I reached the place earlier than expected- I was driven at 60 this morning. Yes, of all the days. The moment I stepped into the School, I saw no sign of women in baju kurung. At all. Eveyone else were dressed immaculately in office attire. Blazers, vests, shirts, ties, court shoes, etc. You get the picture. I felt.. underdressed. Too simple to impress interviewers, I must say. Whatmore with terrible colour coordination because I left my favourite crocs in college. Then again, no interviewers look at your shoes when you walk in right?

I was embarrassed anyhow.

This morning passed by SO slowly. Half an hour felt like a day. So imagine having to wait for 4 hours before getting called. It felt like.. you do the math (speaking of math.. ahh go on reading). By the third hour, I was already tired of feeling nervous and God knows how active my excretory system was. Bladder capacitance tak cukup pagi ni, apache. Sumpah malu, sudahlah.

I registered at 8am and got called in for the real game close to 12.00pm. There were six of us in each group. It was a 6-to-1 thing. We were given an issue where we had to voice out our opinions on. Thankful for recent readings, I pulled through although I felt like I answered macam cikai. I don’t think I answered mengikut kehendak soalan you know what I mean? But, whatever. It was like PBL only that.. I was put on the spot. I hate interviews- gives me the creeps thinking about it.

Online assessment was quite an itch though. I suck at math. Now I know why God wants me to take up a course which has no math in it. I’m completely bad at numerical. Simple math but questions on Probability brought me down. Verbal test was another. My goodness, limited time! Couldn’t finish them in time. Whatevs.

We’ll see the outcome in a few weeks time. In the mean time, lets not expect anything. :) But I’m glad I went for it- for the sake of experience. It breaks my heart to look at my dad every time I miss out an opportunity. Because I know I probably made certain decisions which weren’t parallel to his liking last year so I’m glad I went for this one. It breaks my heart too, to see my dad fork out so much money for me all the time. Sometimes I feel so spoilt. I study so near. I come back so often. I make my mum travel back and forth every so often but it never tires her. And it upsets me even more that with this much of sacrifice from my parents, I’m still not thankful with what I have and not improving in studies in any way.

For the most part, it breaks my heart to know how much I’ve changed or ... haven’t changed.

Familiar with today's date? Yeah man, classic. :)

Intellectual conversation- you make me go bonkers.

if only things were... DIFFERENT.

:(

Lets go way back in time. :)

"Eh remember our monitor, monitor monitor monitor?"
"Eh ieka, how long is your hair now? Lama dah tak nampak rambut you hahaha"
"I remember you tapi muka you dah lain. Dulu you tak pakai tudung kan?"
"Ieka you dari dulu sampai sekarang tak berubah la, sama je."
"BABE YOU NEVER STOP TALKING" (never will by the way)

It's been what? 7 years weih. 7 years since I last got a red letter from the office for being an efficient latecomer. 7 years since I last received love letters from boys (comel gila la sumpah, i regret throwing them all ;p). 7 years since I stepped down as class monitor in the worst class ever haha. 7 years since my last pinafore. 7 years.. but I haven't lost one bit of my cuteness hahaha!

Cheers to another seven years times eternity of friendship. :)

Ice-throw.

A great escape from notes, thick books and critical thinking: just the break medical students needed :) Today was Hari Keusahawanan, I should have brought my camera along and snapped goofy shots of Ainaa in action from delivering ice blended to neighbouring stalls, sandwiching her way through the massive crowd to stalk people’s other halves, spilling maiyonese all over her jeans and running around KPS throwing ice at innocent people like me.

My team sold ice-blended which was surprisingly laku. I know how to ice-blend now, haha! I swear I had a redface on the entire day under the UV light ray. But it was worthwhile getting all soaked up in sweats :)The whole scenario reminded me of highschool- how actively involved we all were for various events and for the most part, it reminded me of how much I miss being involved. So today gave me the opportunity to relive what was long gone and yes, I had the time of my life spending lots of money on junk food, roaming around UM looking for ice, begging people for free food at their respective stalls and blending of course (unlike Ainaa who had no chance of hogging the blender, I did the entire morning) :) Our sales turned out real good, I think kita kaya dah sekarang.

I stayed at the stall until late to help out with the clean up until some people blurted this out to our group leader – “Cepat, jom balik. Ada orang nak berak!!!”. LOUD AND CLEAR, STATEMENT KETAT. TERBAIK! :P So I was telling my friends maybe we should all quit medschool and start an ice-blended business instead. Who says life is all about.. intelligence? :D

p/s: I want an ice-throw rematch.

Shallow.

Advanced lifestyle but low mentality progress. And I thought adults THINK better.

Seriously lah, you people are giving me an opportunity to despise.