So I’ve entered ‘clinical phase’ recently. Going around the wards, follow people here and there, act busy, yada yada that kind of Grey’s Anatomy stuff (minus the obscene parts!). I mean you know how you get excited for a certain something only to feel a little down once you’re ‘in’ it? Don’t get me wrong. I like the idea of correlating what I’ve grasped the past two years into real life situations, just that I wished I could think a little bit more?

People tell me to read this book, that book, finish this book, that book. I read, I forget. I go, I remember some. I forget the rest. I ask and then I don’t think. And I end up.. clueless. Doctors shoot questions on a daily basis and all you do is blink or mumble. Yes, mumble I do that a lot. Some things I can answer lah but I mumble. And for a person who speaks quite a lot in my comfort zone, I’m pretty darn pathetic and shy!

Then you look around and see people mastering this physical examination, that physical examination and youre barely skillful. So I get now why doctors need to be competent. Because when all around you is kiasuuuu you gotta be kiasuuu or you’ll be a frickin tortoise like me :(

At the rate that I’m ‘performing’, I’m scared to start my postings. I really really am.